Respect Denied Presence Removed

A fine silt has covered my heart
gravity has dealt us hence.

You have chosen your paths,
and I mine.

I don't wish to know you anymore.

I cast you from my sight.

That peripheral irritation too constant to bear.

This is how you manipulate.
Staying just outside of clear eye line
and reaching distance
but still making your presence known all the same.

A small gnat giving way to multiples and divisions of a personality
I thought I knew once.

And I wished you could have been more direct.
Paused, or just lighted long enough on a still point
for me to have snatched you into non-existence.

But that has never been your style.
A world shrouded in dark fantasies
with the perversion of optimism to carry your through
to illogical
and violent endings for those
more privy to be driven mad by your
endless passive agression.

You have become your own self-fulfilling prophecy this time.

And so I will look to you no longer.
Be vexed by your withdrawal and sudden insertions no more.

Be free of it.

Know there is peace in this passing.
Stop strangling the ghost of drowned horses.

I grow tired of these silly adolescent games.
Have no more patience for these feeble attempts
for self gratifying attention seeking behaviors.

You said it yourself.

"I
Am
Instituting
An
Immediate
No
Contact
Policy."

Well the standards double and quadruple.

As usual.

So I guess I will still have to be the one
that takes to higher grounds, or roads as it were.

I will have to continue to model
adult behaviors
and healthy boundaries
and space
and insulation
and silence
for myself as much as for you.

I don't think I've ever hidden so many lines
in the sand before now-
hairpin detonation wires humming beneath the surface.
But what your push pull sway represents
even on a subconscious level
is dangerous and foolish.

Silly little girl,
I am done to death with you.

No longer wish to have you as a friend
or companion
in ANY
respect
since I cannot expect that respect in kind.

So enjoy this
freedom
this indifference
this shoulder
turned cold with love's mortal coil exhausted.

Know it's out of self and mutual respect
that I banish thee
to memory and nothing more.

And soon even the pang of nostalgia
will bear no heat of burn
for I will have calloused over by then
to your ceaseless needling.

And you
cannot look to me
any longer
for anything other
than laughter
sounding ruckus at your willowy backbone.