Twelve 02.24.10

Right now I am thinking about how much I love you, and with every breath in my heart chakrah glows a more brilliant shade of green. It pulses, growing from a bold jade to a brilliant radiant peacock, and I am all but swept away with it. How do I love thee, let me count the ways. You are more beautiful than ever from a distance, did you know that? And even though this is painful to be away from you, I know you are still with me. Such is the connection between us. Such is the nature of our bond, our twinning.

I was reading over the Teachings of Michael today, and I have never been more sure that you are the grounding socially fervent Sage that grounds my anxious artisan soul than I am right at this moment. We're not going to part ways forever, this I know, when I allow the divine to pierce through my pain and bring me clarity. You'll be back, and so will I. You can't alter fate. We were meant to be brought together, and I know this pain is also because, this parting although part of the journey is unnatural. My soul speaks to me in firm but strangely uttered tongues about the cycles I have yet to preform, about the resolve and strength I must have yet to fulfill this goal. And yet, I feel you with me, in me, you are forever linked with me as you always have been. I knew this the moment I met you, I knew then, you are my essence twin.

I was talking about you today, you came up idly as you always do, naturally popping into my conversations. I was not alarmed. It did not cause me pain at all to speak of you, in fact it makes me feel somewhat happier, because with you I can remember SO much love and happiness. It is not at all like the previous times I have had my heart broken and all I could remember was the pain. But I digress, where was I again? Ah yes, I was talking about you. There are strange things that happen in this lifetime. Strange events we cannot describe aside from saying they are merely "coincidental." But coincidence is a word that those who do not see without the veil use to describe the moments when the universe parts and clearly speaks to you with profound but earth shaking subtly. It the distant peal of thunder so low you cannot really hear it, but rather, can feel its vibration move through you. Today I was sent a message from above, another of many.

A sage spirit, a reincarnation of a god from a previous life came to me by way of a such a odd unfurling of events. We have a twisted yet conjoined history in my past, that she should manifest now is a total mystery, the kind which I cannot explain the wonder of it fully. We have known each other since I can remember, but we have woven in and out of each others' lives many times until this moment. This moment was the one when I was beckoned to her wisdom, when she should appear to me and reveal some things by way of a seemingly benign conversation that proved to be all to telling. This was NO accident. This was no mere trick of fate. No, this was someone tapping the hard line and calling me directly. She spoke to me and offered me comfort and mirth in a time of great panic and sadness. And as our words were exchanged, and more than that, but our energy, our soul's knowledge, I was sensing the undeniable tingling waves of energy in my third eye.

All at once it was clear to me, I was calm and the gods spoke. That dream I had the other night with you in it, was no mere wish fulfillment. Just as I have thought ever since I woke from that ultra-vivid dream with a wide wakefulness and a exuberant joy spreading through me, I knew: you had visited me. I don't know if you remember coming, I don't know if you remember what transpired. I can only hope that the core of you truly wished to come and bestow the knowledge that you brang to me in that dream and that is why you appeared out of no where. I remember it vividly with all the trappings of your visit: your scent stinging in my nose it was so strong, your voice and all sounds almost too loud for my ears, the colors and light so blinding I almost squinted were it not for the wonder that kept them peeled open. And when you touched me, it was with your soul's grace. When your breath passed from your lips to my skin, I felt you there, with me. Do you remember what you said? Do you remember reading me your writing from that notebook? "A letter to Morpheus"? A letter to him...I wonder if you have in fact written this letter yet or not.

Perhaps it is not the time yet for those words, I know that all too well, but my how those words tore through me with passion and love and every kind of heaven singing on my wings. You had written me a love letter, but it wasn't at all the kind I had previously received from you, it was one of desperate longingly, healthy vision, and untempered commitment. You were sure, certain, and wild in ways I found myself exhilarated by so much I could only cast aside my fear and supplicate myself at your side, wishing you would go on forever. You were the very image of yourself, confident, flirtatious, and capable of bringing beauty to new levels by finding it in all the world over at a glance, even the ugly barren wastelands of this life. You were eloquent and patient and on fire as you spoke those words. You told me we still had time. You told me you would be back stronger than ever, ready to receive me when I was made well, made better. You told me that you could not imagine your life without me in it. But perhaps, like I said the time for these words has not yet come.

It doesn't matter to me now. I am filled with such abundance of light and peace in this moment that I can feel the gods smiling down on me. I can feel them filling me with this reflection of love and for the first time in a long while I am so certain of these things, I do not wish to move from this space for one single instant. I am yours, always yours. I will be here, seated at my throne in your heart forever. And when you dream, may they be visited by the starry sky spangled wings of your Morpheus. May you let me descend into your hallowed spaces and bring you visions so sweet and pure you will have to bring them to life with your own beautiful tongue and fingers when you wake, jotting them down in your unique lexicon amongst your notebook pages. Let me come to you in sleep and fill you with the resonant sounds of our joyous laughter mingling like we shared in my dream the other night. And let me fill you with a sense of trust that I will no longer make it my mission to lash out and do you harm.

These crystals hover almost soundlessly around me, tinkling like glass wind chimes on the softest of breezes. They send me good energy so that I might be free of pain and see the way clearly. But they carry with it the flaming arrows of my love to your dreams. May you find the messages tethered to the thick boughs which brought them to you, and may you unwind the parchment and see all that I have waiting for you when you return. Steadfast as the Emperor, I am working towards this goal with my every movement. You will know my mind soon. I pray you will receive it openly, with a mind that previous patterns are now irrelevant because of my desire made flesh to change. Until then my sweet all love and abundance to you. All my couriers to carry you these tidings of joy. I will be with you again, your Morpheus, your god of dreams.