Thirty Eight 03.22.10

Your words echo through my heart tonight. I remember all that you said, every look, every kiss. My soul is light up like the bonfires of old that would celebrate the Spring Equinox. That same Vernal Equinox that marks our anniversary. Now we have passed from Winter into Spring and with it ushered in a new time of growth.

As if in ancient custom, we have planted these seeds of love in an empty basket. They will take time, dear love, to sprout, to blossom. I am aware of this, but now that we have entered the spring, each day will grow longer and longer; begging these seeds to germinate and then erupt through the surface of the warming soil. When their green shoots come forth, I will tie them with red ribbons as my ancestors would have. I will place them on the graves of my dead, to show them that which I have come to know so well from loving you. Life conquers death, and love can transcend sorrow.

You and I, we have been ordained by the very Gods above to be together. Although I know now, that will take time to unfold. I remain as ever, in spirit, in heart, in mind, in body and soul: YOURS. Ask what you will of me and I will give it all too gladly, for my heart only knows how it beats your name ceaselessly. My arms selfishly crave your warm embrace reflected within them. But I am not so weak as to imagine that all things which are good are not worth waiting for.

I have told you, and I mean it with every fiber of my being, I will give you the gift of time. I have nothing but that to give you, nothing but that, and the love which swells in my heart for you more and more each day. I know that not all is right between us, I know this is only the beginning on a set of paths which I hope will lead us back to one another. I am as you have said, your soul mate, and that is reflected in my quest for truth and the life I desire. We are on a journey right now, separate, but never far from each other's hearts.

Again, you should have no lasting fears that I will rush you into anything. I know that the chase is sweet and it will offer all that we wish in the end. Make no mistake, I will chase you. And I will win your heart in the end, back in my rightful hands to love and remain as devoted to as I have ever been, in perpetuity. But I know it would not possess the thrill or exhilaration of a true chase if I did not give you a decent head start. So go, be free on the wind, rainbows of ribbons bearing each color of spring flowing through your hair.

Go, and start this race so that I might track you down and woo you once more. Let it be all the things you are wanting, let me display all that my arms have to offer, from a distance. Until you are ready to return to your home in my heart. I will send you words, all bearing my love for you. I will send you trinkets and treasures, so that you know all roads I have crossed while carrying you with me in my bosom. I will send you my love, so that you know, even if we cannot have it be presently all that we wish it to be in the end, it is still here waiting for you.

Do not worry dear love, I am going no where that you cannot find me. Remember that which I said to you. I have given you my heart, and you can keep it for it wishes to have no other home. And I am counting on what you showed me last night was true, your heart is mine, just as mine is yours. We are tied together through this love, one puzzle piece reflecting the other. You said there's not a puzzle that only posses two pieces, but you were wrong. There is one, one that I can think of which reflects what we have so dearly: a taijitu.

It is the diagram of ultimate power, a cycle, made of two elements which reflect each other. Our forms constantly interact, they can never exist in absolute stasis without the other. And what they reflect is the essence of life. The interaction of the two gives birth to things, just as the Springtime now upon us gives birth to every living thing through warmth and glittering sunlight.

We are meant to transform one another. You are the moon to my oceanic tides, stirring movement within me. This force is the reason every whisper of water along the shoreline is reflected in a surge that then ebbs. It is the reason the rise of every cresting wave transforms into a the way the breakers fall against the sands. You are the sunlight that plays across a mountainside. And I am the cradling earth which holds your rays aloft on my peaks, or shelters your shade in my valleys.

Do not fear for a moment that this means we cannot live without each other during this journey, we can and we will. And my love for you will never die, or wither, or waiver. I have no regrets about what passed between us last night, I will treasure it always as a gift. I will remember those moments I spent comforted in your arms, swooning from your kiss, and exploding from your firey passion. Of course, I will long for more moments like that to return to us. But I am giving you this time, it is my sincerest gift to you. Do not fear beckoning me into your life again, I can respect that my visits represent just that, visits I am priviledged to have. I will not count it as a sign of return until you proclaim it. In the meantime, all that I have to give you is my love when you ask for it and time that you request.

Time will reveal all to you my love, my ardor for you can only blossom with time. I am sealed to you, and so I remain as always, yours. Time will show you all that you need to discover. Time will reveal the way that change can come between us, but as long as our hearts sing true and sweet, there is always Springtime to welcome you back to my arms. So go, chase off into the distance in this sunlight and be stunned by the beauty that surrounds you. I will be with you soon enough when the time is right, to share in the brilliance of this vista, my hand in yours once more.